July 3, 2008

Tax sex

I’d like to put on my economist hat for a moment, if I may. Everything is expensive. Gas, food, even a pack of cigarettes is $10 bucks nowadays.

Thankfully, the world’s favorite activity is still free. No, not watching ABC’s hour of hilarity, Wipeout.

It’s fucking! Fucking is still free.

Here’s my bright idea to solve our current economic downturn: tax sex*. Anytime someone wants to put it in someone else, an IRS agent swoops in to collect the new boning tax.

This leads me to even a more brilliant idea: the boner tax. Everytime a man has an erection, he will be taxed one dollar. While writing this sentence, I would’ve cost myself 400 dollars. But it’ll be worth it when all my boners pay the entire cost of the Iraq war. In two days.

Am I right? Ladies?

I’ve done it! I’ve made a dick joke in the context of a horrible and neverending war. I feel good about myself now. And on that note, happy 4th America!

*Holy fucking shit, a Democratic legislator from Rhode Island legitimately proposed a sex tax in 1971.

ianlee: Lee, I started getting your mail. wtf? Stop stealing my mail! That shit is mail fraud!

ianlee:

Lee, I started getting your mail.

wtf?

Stop stealing my mail! That shit is mail fraud!

“ Never trust a man wearing sweatpants.

unknown

(confidential: I might have made this up)

Things to say that will get you no sympathy

It’s tough being a misogynist.

All this money couldn’t buy me happiness.

I’d come up with more of these, but I’m kinda dizzy.

(the last one was not intended to get sympathy, but is a reflection of the author’s state of mind)

July 2, 2008

He means never

  • A girl about 8 y.o. and her father pass me on the street tonight. This is all I hear.
  • Girl: I really want to get kissed.
  • Dad: Yeah, but not for a looooooong time.

Shocking!

rockuboff:

My boss is playing the new Ben Folds + Regina Spektor song. It’s freakin amazing. I’m soooo surprised! Sooo bouncy and catchy!

Umm, please share with the world?

“ The third one was horrible [Beverly Hills Cop 3], so I didn’t want to do another one. The producers wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, ‘Is this your phone number?’ and they said, ‘This is how much we’re going to pay you.’ I said, ‘Let’s go shoot it! I don’t care if the script isn’t right.’

Eddie Murphy

So that’s how he picks his films! It all makes sense now. The good news in the article is that he hints at getting back into stand-up. Now THAT might actually be funny.

(via monstersandcritics)

“ Fear not fear, fear fear itself.
a President we had in the past

anjalouise:

Vidblog 01: Verdugo Hotel on Vimeo (via Vimeo)

I did a movie! It’s my first “real” vidblog, made from all the video clips I shot while Lee was in town.

Wow, great job! I’m going to be compiling all my footage this weekend.

July 1, 2008
seanbury: I caught an advance screening of this today — and my friends… It’s everything we hoped it would be!  I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s probably the best movie of 2008. When you get a chance to see it in October, make sure you listen for the amazing performance from Luis Guzman. Sean, don’t fuck around here. Did you actually see it? I would love to know: does Chloe the spoiled chihuahua find her way back to Beverly Hills after being lost in Mexico?!?! DOES SHE??

seanbury:

I caught an advance screening of this today — and my friends… It’s everything we hoped it would be!  I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s probably the best movie of 2008.

When you get a chance to see it in October, make sure you listen for the amazing performance from Luis Guzman.

Sean, don’t fuck around here. Did you actually see it?

I would love to know: does Chloe the spoiled chihuahua find her way back to Beverly Hills after being lost in Mexico?!?! DOES SHE??